"It sounds like you'll at least have a new pillow to cry on." - Guest-Blogger

Thanks to my friend, who is choosing to remain anonymous, for the following response to my mother's warnings about the weather/ditches. It makes me feel better, somehow.

Oh dear…

Ominous warnings indeed. 10-20 inches of snow!? Good heavens, where does your mother get her forecast---weatherarmageddon.com? My family is equally on high weather alert. There has been much communication and I have forwarded no less than two news articles to my sisters updating them on the forecast and how it impacts departure for home. I have moved up my own departure to this afternoon, ahead of my reckless sister and brother in law who aren’t leaving until mid-morning tomorrow when the news claims there will be a surge of warm air that will de-ice the roads and bring momentary tropical conditions to the interstate in advance of the storm’s next phase.

I had a very involved conversation with my sister this morning concerning not only weather, but the mounting emotional stress and strain of my family this Christmas. It should prove interesting. My father has been spending time on the roof in a perilous and somewhat hopeless attempt at thwarting a leak in the ceiling that has caused much concern and lead to the repositioning of the living room couch. The build up of snow has proven too much for the shingles, and the forecast is obviously threatening that the drips will only continue, which will lead to my father snow blowing a path through the backyard to make room for his truck so that he can use it as an anchor to position his ladder so he can climb onto the house. All of this naturally concerns my mother, not so much for the fact that her 71-year old husband will be spending more time on top of the house this Christmas than Santa Claus, but for its sheer inconvenience at a time when she needs the house to be at its most homey and hospitable. Naturally, my sisters are terrified of the thought of Dad scaling the house so there has been much scolding back and forth.

This is also the first Christmas for my mother since my Grandma died, which adds another layer of emotion. My pregnant sister doesn’t deal well with emotion anyway and has already declared she will be of no comfort to Mom whatsoever for fear of going into labor. Christmas Eve church service tears are inevitable so I have been nominated as the emotional buffer. To top it all off, my mother remains worried about me, my health, and that I will spiral into depression at any moment circa 2006 because I am gay and have an overactive colon. I’m sure everyone just wishes I had a wife to make it all better.

In spite of it all, I am looking forward to being home and hope everything goes off without a hitch. And I hope that your festivities prove worth the dangerous journey as well, and that your gifts will not be distributed to the needy. If they are, it sounds like you’ll at least have a new pillow to cry on…

Travel safe and don’t dilly dally on your departure. I expect updates as to your progress when necessary and convenient. A very Merry Christmas to you as well.