What's that guy doing with that brick? Oh, I see.

The Scene:
The Lexington, 11:00pm

The Players:

Troy
Unfortunate Lawyer
1 perpetrator, under the influence
1 gold station wagon
1 brick
1 station wagon window with unfortunate luck, but surprising resiliancy
1 question from Troy to Unfortunate Lawyer: "Should I call 911?"
1 answer from Unfortunate Lawyer to Troy: "No."
1 telephone call by Troy to 911
2 police cars
3 witness statements given to Officer Ryan, Midwest City Police Officer, FarmTown High School Class of 1996, 10th Grade Homecoming Date of Unfortunate Lawyer, Unapologetic Racist

The Victims/Casualties:

1 hysterical owner of a gold station wagon
1 station wagon window
1 tarnished memory from Homecoming 1993
Countless non-white residents of Midwest City

The Lessons Learned:

Troy enters people's license plate numbers into his Blackberry when they're not looking.

It takes every ounce of Officer Ryan's strength to refrain from shooting you. Yes, you.

When I leave Matt's apartment at 10:00 with the promise that I am 'going home', I should probably 'go home.'