I feel like this has been happening to several of my friends lately, which could mean a couple of different things: (a) we've been hibernating and easing into our winter coats woven from pumpkin pie and cheesy potatoes and dinner rolls and gravy; or (b) this sort of thing has been happening all along, but we're now just good enough friends that we can talk about it. (My friend Andrew's button launched off his pants with such force that it ricocheted off a door and Brad had to duck to escape it's path. Or so it was reported.)
Since I have no immediate plan of action to counteract the departure of this or any other button, I have instead compiled a list of people who could potentially witness such an event. And I have ranked them in order from #1 (the person whom I would least like to witness the exodus of the button) down to # 10 (the person whom, if this must happen, I would most like to see it).
- My mother
- Any boy that I formerly dated
- Joshua Jackson
- A doctor specializing in Type 2 diabetes
- A waiter/waitress, while I am simultaneously ordering a piece of cake
- Anyone who works out on a regular basis
- My secretary (the nice one)
- My dental hygienist *
- Brad, Penelope, or my sister
- Troy. I can't really explain it, but he would just...understand.
* This is who actually saw it happen. Clearly, the situation could have been worse.
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