While leaping the year with 50 or 60 friends and strangers at my house on Friday night, it seemed like a completely reasonable idea to exit my house through a window. The door was fully operational and 3 feet away.
I hurt myself, which has caused me to limp unattractively.
Today, in a public restroom, I spotted a woman looking at me. Then she started limping, clearly mocking me. I gave her the Filthiest Look Ever and limped away, appalled by her rudeness.
Then I rounded the corner and saw her crutches leaning against the wall.
And then you stole them? And punched her in the face on your way out?
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