GuestBlogger: Sister

Dear Unfortunate Lawyer (also known as "The Good Sister"):

When a photo appeared in our hometown newspaper of your childhood boyfriend (the one you never actually spoke to), for an award he won during your senior year of high school, I immediately cut it out and mailed it to you. I mailed it with a note written in the sloppy handwriting of a boy that said "I never forgot what we did that day at recess. I still think about you." I signed his name, sealed the envelope, and mailed it from the post office in the town where he lived.

But really...I thought you would know it was me. I thought you would know it was a joke and I thought we would laugh together about how funny I was. And when you brought it up several months later, sitting in the kitchen of our parents' house when I was home from college at Christmas, I thought you were just complementing me on how funny my joke was.

It was when you got the the part of the story where you wrote him back, saying that you didn't actually remember what you did "that day at recess" but you'd love to get together now, that I wasn't quite sure how to react. Were you fucking with me? Were you playing a joke of your own? I soon realized that, sadly, you were not. I was the only joker in the room that night.

You were so confused (and rightfully so) as to why this boy would take the time to write you and even send a photo of himself and then not respond to your friendly reply. I was curled in a ball on the cold hard floor, in fits of uncontrollable laughter, imagining how confused this boy must have been when he received your letter. I was past the point of being able to speak, knowing that I had caused both of you to try your hardest to remember what happened "that day at recess."

What could I do? The letter had been sent and received. I hoped the two of you wouldn't run into each other anytime soon and I made a mental note to tell you the true origins of the letter in about 10 years, when it would seen equally funny to both of us. That was in 1996. And so now, 12 years later, here is my confession: it was me!!! I know what you and your "boyfriend" did that fateful day at recess, and what you did was nothing. whoops. :)

I apologize for any confusion or embarrassment suffered as a result of my action. You weren't planning on getting back together with him anyway, right?!

Love,
Sister (the bad one)