SuperFat Tuesday

I like numbers. Numbers and math are good. Quantifiable goals are even better. But my favorite: ranking things. Making lists in order...best to worst...favorite to least favorite...tasks of the utmost importance all the way down to those that I will never do. Never ever.

My claim that I can think of 1,000 places more magical than Disney World was once challenged, so I started to make a list. When I got to #264, I became exhausted and started making paper snowflakes. It is no coincidence that "make paper snowflakes" was #264 on the list.

Yesterday was Super Tuesday (and also Fat Tuesday), an important election milestone for those who are into that sort of thing. I'm into that sort of thing, to an extent. Three of my friends are enormously into that sort of thing. Hence, a gathering was planned. Two of those friends showed up. The third - Troy - did not. Towards the end of the evening, after he'd received a few sassy text messages from me, he called to let us know that he probably wasn't going to make it, because he had FIVE parties to go to that night. (Troy works in the office of a government official. A pretty important government official.)

While I didn't like it that Troy wasn't there, I DID appreciate that he provided me with a rank...a number. Though perhaps not his intent, Troy ranked our party 5th out of 5 parties. On SuperFat Tuesday, we were 5th on his list of 5 places to be.

I wish I could always be assigned a rank. I like to know exactly where I stand. Everyone could do it. For example, my mother might provide me with a list of things, in order, that displease her today:

1 - Unfortunate Lawyer's hair
2 - Unfortunate Lawyer's clothes
3 - Lack of grandchildren
4 - The price of soybeans per bushel

Will feelings get hurt with my new system? Perhaps. But I still think it's best to know exactly where you stand...even when you're 5th.