Butch Sandals

Last night at dinner, my friend Brian told us 2 stories. One story involved him describing a past sexual encounter, during which someone did something to him for one minute. I don't really want to get into it. But it was such an awkward and uncomfortable image that Brad & I found ourselves timing out one minute on a clock to see just how long this something went on for. We decided that one minute is a very, very long time.

The other story was about his parents' recent visit. They stopped by the department store where he works, selling men's shoes. Brian hasn't exactly told his parents that he's gay, but claims that "they have to know." I would agree.

While they talked with their son in the shoe department, Brian waved at someone. "You know...I waved like this...like real cute like I do." His parents fell silent. Was this it? Had the 'gay wave' tipped the scales? Did the family officially "know" now? Would Christmas ever be the same again?

In his moment of panic, Brian did what anyone would.

"I looked down, grabbed a really butch pair of sandals, and said, 'I really like these.' My parents started talking again, and everything was fine."

Yes, Brian. Everything is fine.